It’s been awhile since I have prayed. I mean really prayed like my soul depended on it. For the last several years, especially the last two, my prayers have been more like pleas for help. I think I have been more angry, frustrated, and tired to give a meaningful prayer. I can see why God hasn’t answered me. I wasn’t praying right. I was praying under my angered breath and closed heart.
I used to be better and more consistent about prayer. It’s not that I’ve stopped believing, it’s just that I’ve stop expecting miracles. With so many things going on in the world it’s hard to believe that God is even listening and doing anything about it. I’m sure he is, I’m just too preoccupied with my own troubles to follow the details.
Just the other day I had to change both Justice and Jasmine back-to-back, then at the same time our dog Minik was throwing up on the hard wood floor. While this may seem small scale compared to the events of the world, it’s still our world.
If I were in this movie I know one of the things Jesus would tell me and that is “remember that one day when you were at the gym and it got dark and silent? Do you remember what I told you? Forgive as the Lord forgives’. I’d say, ‘it’s easier said than done. But then he’d say again, ‘Forgive as the Lord forgives’.
I’ll never forget that day and I’m sure God will remind me and say, ‘harden not your heart’. That is, if I ever get to meet God. Wish me luck and give me strength to repent and follow HIM.
How to you pray? How do you keep sane in this crazy world?