Well it’s been over 5 1/2 months now and it still hasn’t gotten better. In fact it’s gotten worse. Either that or I am so tired that my whole prospective on life and parenting has turned upside down. I’m drained and exhausted!
Before Jasmine and Justice were born I read most of the popular baby books, but none of them prepared me for what has happened in this short period. There are just some things I wish I knew before having Jasmine and Justice:
- Physical preparedness – What the hell was I thinking about having kids at my age! As of Justice’s last examination on Saturday, he now weights over 14lbs. Can you imaging having to lug around 14lbs around the house for hours on end? You have to be physically fit to have kids. There are no breaks with twins. You put one down and have to pick up another. You need to do a lot of squats, pull ups, and curls. The books should have talked about what exercises to do in preparation for their care.
- Patience – WTF! I thought I had patience before the kids, but having twins wears down your patience to nothing! The books should have said, when you have kids be prepared to wait for hours on end before they go to sleep. Be ready to stare at the clock that never seems to change. Be prepared to have your patience tried and tried over again until you’re ready to keel over. That’s what the books should have said.
- Tolerance – The books should have said invest in ear plugs. When you have two crying babies screaming their heads off you have to be tolerant of it and be understanding of their needs. Never mind that they are tearing out your soul. When one or both of them are sick be prepared for erratic behavior, moodiness, and 10x more fussiness. That’s what the books should have said.
The books should have said, when you have twins and no support from family or friends, then be prepared for the worse. Remember you are only one person with two arms caring for two little people. You can not be at two places at once. You can not try to put one asleep while the other is screaming their head off! This is just impossible and be prepared to manage two crying babies.
Having twins and trying to put them to sleep is like being on a plane from hell. You have to sleep, eat, and watch TV in an upright position while rocking a baby. All the while you have the noise from passengers around you, other screaming babies, and no service from the stewardess. Imagine this night after night. Most times we can’t even take a shower, use the bathroom for basic necessities, or even get a drink of water for God’s sake! No service, no time.
The books should have also said, as parents of twins you will have no time for nothing else. You won’t have time to clean your house, pay your bills, and care for yourself. You should have saved your money for maid service, created automatic bill pay, and had a simple lifestyle to begin with. We did none of these things.
Be prepared to have your faith tested. This is a big one for us. The books should have said, if you have any faith all, be prepared to have it tested over and over again. You may ask for help everyday and you will get no response from your God. You might ask to your God to watch over your kids from harm, evil, and danger, yet something will still happen to them against your will. You might ask that they sleep through the night so you will have the energy to care for them only to find that your sleep will be cut short night after night. You might ask for the simplest thing such as 5 minutes of peace only to find that peace filled with cries and constant wanting.
Finally the books should have said caring for multiples is not going to be fun the first 5 1/2 months. You will be drained of every resource and you will not be totally happy with your new lifestyle. You will have many many many sleepless nights and it will effect your mental, physical, and emotional health. Do all that you can do ahead of time so when you do have these kids you can concentrate on just caring for them and nothing else, not even your own well being. Invest in baby videos and bouncing toys to try to keep them entertained. You might have a chance to eat your left over breakfast from the day before while they are busy watching and playing. There should be an honest straight forward baby/parenting book like this for parents of multiples.
We had a tough 3 day weekend this week. Justice has the cold and we’re trying to buffer Jasmine away from him as much as we can. Ebru has caught his cold and I’m trying my best not to get it. I’m sure the cold will make its rounds and I’m trying to delay it until at least Justice gets better.
Here is Jasmine and Justice at the Kaiser office. Justice had a major running nose and a cough. Unfortunately, he is too young for any medication. We invested in a humidifier to help with his sneezing and coughing. Poor little guy.